One of the clearest signs that someone lacks vulnerability is when they resort to bullying. Authentic vulnerability requires empathy, introspection, and a willingness to engage openly with others—even when it’s uncomfortable. Bullies, on the other hand, often mask deep insecurities with aggression, bravado, or manipulation. They project strength, but it's a hollow kind, usually aimed at avoiding accountability or asserting control. And in the long run, this behavior is not only corrosive—it’s unsustainable.
Take former President Donald Trump’s recent comments about Canada. Trump admires bullies and “tough guys” and works hard at projecting that persona. In an apparent attempt to position himself as a tough negotiator, Trump has been musing aloud for months that perhaps the U.S. should annex Canada and make it the 51st state. While some dismiss his remarks as a joke or negotiating tactic, the damage has been done. Canada, one of America’s closest and most dependable allies, is rightfully insulted and is seeking relationships and alliances elsewhere. Trump’s bullying rhetoric—meant to provoke, demean, or intimidate—has real consequences. It alienates allies, erodes goodwill, and fosters an atmosphere of distrust. That’s not strength; it’s recklessness. And I haven’t even gotten into Trump’s tariff tsunami this week…still digesting the tragedy that will likely ensue as a result of yet more bullying tactics!
To his credit, Canada’s new Prime Minister Mark Carney responded forcefully in a speech last week, publicly rejecting Trump’s remarks and affirming Canada’s sovereignty and dignity. The response struck a chord not just in Canada, but among global observers. In the face of Trump’s typical bluster, Carney’s firm, direct pushback revealed the fundamental weakness in bullying tactics. Unsurprisingly, Trump now appears to be backing off. That’s the thing about bullies: when someone stands up to them, their posture often crumbles. Standing up to a bully exposes their lack of conviction, their insecurity, and ultimately, their lack of vulnerability.
Effective leaders don’t bully. They engage. They explain, persuade, and listen. They accept disagreement as part of a functioning relationship, not as a personal attack. Vulnerability in leadership means being able to say, “Here’s what I believe, and I’m open to hearing where you stand.” Bullies say, “I don’t care what you think—this is how it’s going to be.” The former leads to trust and collaboration; the latter, to division and resentment.
History offers a consistent lesson: bullies eventually fail. Their methods might succeed in the short term, but they create fractures that grow over time. Whether in politics, business, or personal relationships, people eventually tire of being demeaned, dismissed, or strong-armed. And when they do, bullies find themselves isolated, their credibility eroded.
At the core of vulnerability is the understanding that people matter—not just as tools to achieve an end, but as individuals with thoughts, feelings, and dignity. Bullies reject that truth. But real leaders embrace it. And in doing so, they lead not with fear, but with trust—and that’s where real, lasting strength lies.
Nicely done Mike, well written.
Vance